So why did I do it?

This has lasted 5 months, I feel I want to end it soon - it's not doing me well. Why did I put up with it for so long?

You can't say I was blind and did not know what was going on, because I surely knew of the risks. I guess I tried too hard to change her - and see light of the situation. I guess I was hard headed, I knew it was a bad idea but I wanted to see for myself. I do not regret it - I've learned a lot. Sure, I have a lot less money now, but I came out of it safe and not really too emotionally hurt.

Heh, some people are bad. She really abused my good will. That will keep me much more aware in dealing with other people - in relationships or in life.

I stopped doing the things I loved - like music, etc. I did not have fun. I was constantly anxiously, waiting for her to call - and always on the verge of a break up with her. This was in the entirety of the 5 months.

Oh man.