I can't believe I got through it safely

Let me be blunt; her world is dangerous. She's a dancer. She has a jealous, violent ex-boyfriend who's status is or is not "ex". That explains a lot of the sneaking around. (She would tell me she did not want him finding out about us because he'd be angry due to the kid being around another man with his mother.)

Her city is really dangerous. I took the train there numerous times, which goes to some sketchy areas. They knew I had financial resources - I could have been robbed or black mailed.

There are things in her world - like with her friends, that are dangerous. I suspect drug use, even though they'd always hide it from me because they knew I was not accepting of such things. She tells me she does not use - but her friends do. I suspect she's lying.

I wonder how angry the ex-boyfriend would be, if he found out I took the woman and her kid to the mall, even pushed the little baby car in the mall? As a father he'd be angry that someone temporarily took over his role, I think.

This situation has been almost surreal - their world is different than mine. There is no trust in their world, that's the big difference.

Well, at least I got through it safely so far. I don't know if it's over. It is my decision, because I don't think she will stop as long as the money keeps flowing. Sad, but unfortunately true.

You know, she may have done many wrong things against me - but I treated her with respect. I treated her like she was a woman worthy of respect. At least my conscience is clear.