I've talked to a professional

I have talked to a psychologist and told him the entire story. Here are the main points that he has told me:

The psychologist associated all of her behaviors with how I should act, etc - but here I will focus on what I learned about her as well:

1.) First, her father being absent had an adverse effect on her. Her father left when she was 12, and cheated on her mother. This made her not trust men from a very young age. So this is why she is cold now - she never learned how to receive or properly give affection and love. I come from a more loving family, so to me this is normal -but to her, it's just not part of her learned experiences.

He said that since I am emotionally healthy and have had good experiences in my life, her personality creates a much more noticeable friction when I analyze it. That's why I get anxious if she is just interested in money; which is not the case. Obviously she needs some help, but the psychologist told me the very fact that she started working again, and wants to be independent, signifies that money is not the issue here.

2.) Why is she emotionally cold? Since she obviously shows that she cares about me, i.e by calling to see if I am doing OK, by sincerely seeming worried, and attached, her emotional coldness is explained thusly:

Due to her trust issues, she feels I will do to her what the other men have done to her. She has a very low opinion of herself. She is beautiful, but years of verbal abuse by men have taught her that she is ordinary, and rotten on the inside. She told me once she is not happy with herself, or her life.

So, the psychologist explained that she feels like she is liking me more - so thus she feels safe with me to cut off some of the affection and sex, since that makes her uncomfortable. She clearly has intimacy issues. It is possible that she was physically abused when she was younger, or even at the hands of her past boyfriends. She has confided in me that she was treated badly, and was told she was not a good woman.

3.) A lot of what the psychologist told me, is confirmed by details the woman has told me. She clearly has trauma in terms of relationships, so her emotional issues abound.

All I can really do is continue to treat her well, compliment her on being a good mother (Which she is), and do everything to make her trust me.

If I walk away and leave her, she will be even more confused - since the only good man to appear in her life did not stay. Who is to say she will meet someone who will be good for her later on? It's possible, and I'm not perfect - but judging by her track record, and her situation, there is little chance that will happen.